To get to A.A., I first had to get sick enough. To want to stay sober more than I wanted to drink. Please God I never forget where I've been. By attending regular A.A. meetings since June 1979, staying away from the first drink, and sticking with the strong A.A. members, my life has progressively gotten better and better. My early life in A.A. was in a sense no-mans land. I'd put down a drink - step one, but I didn't know who I was. Today I realise I had taken a leap in faith. I had gotten so far on self will that letting go or handing over was a hard habit to break.
My drinking could be summed up, as enough was never enough. Guess what? This mentality had to be smashed if I was ever to get any sense of balance. I had to learn gratitude for what I had and not what I wanted. I've since learnt a few techniques for my growth; forgiveness of others, in turn I forgave myself, and acceptance of my Alcoholism not just admittance. My self-honesty: this ability is measured by my ability to love myself, and to get in touch with the inner child. I went back to the primary school gate with my higher power to the little fellow who put on such a brave front. We are best friends today. I'm the best person I know. My sponsor the Shabby Old Cabby has been so responsible for my happy outlook: his courage and sense of humour and total dedication to A.A., more to the point A.A. as a way of life.
My higher power I liken to the train that goes past my place, its many carriages dragged along by sometimes two or three engines. When I finally handed over, I started putting the past and the resentments on the train. I'm firmly convinced, resentment has the ability to lock me in the past. My sober life is a gift from a loving God. I thank him daily and give away what I have in order to stay sober and grow stronger: amazing isn't it? By handing my life over to a power greater than myself and acknowledging my powerlessness, I'm no longer helpless. In fact I've never known such power.
The wonder of A.A. recovery is in the fullness of each day. I wish all who read this, the very best of sobriety. Keep coming back!
Your friend in A.A. - Keith W.